by Robert Arvay, Contributing Writer
Dear University Presadent;
This letter is to inform you that I, a student, have recently been offended, and I demand that you do something about it.
While I do not recall all the exact details of the incident, they do not matter. What matters is that I got offended, and its you’re job to do something about it, which I hearby demand that you do.
Therefour, I herebuy demand that you fire all the white, straight professors in this university, to make sure that somebody is held responsible for my hurt feelings. Even if they did not do this one particular thing that offended me, that does not matter. What matters is that somebody pays, and it should knot be a member of a minority group, because they are all oppressed by white people. And even though I am a Caucasian, and I should be punished, well, now I’m getting confused, so stop it, and just fire them.
If not, then I will demon straight, and get others to do so.
And after you do that, resign in disgrace.