(Disclaimer: while the following may appear to be a ‘real’ IRS form, the author is Robert Arvay, not the IRS… The Bold Pursuit had no part in creating this form and really doesn’t know Mr Arvay very well at all.)
1. Do you agree or disagree with the following?
Mmm mmm mmm, Barak Hussein Obama!
2. Which of the following are you?
(Select only one.)
a) a decent, good American.
b) a conservative.
3. Select one of the following statements to reflect your beliefs.
(You MUST select one, and only one:)
a) I believe that government should be bigger and have more money.
b) I am an evil, greedy, racist capitalist pig.
4. What are your views on Islamic terrorism?
a) Islamic terrorists should be opposed.
b) There is no such thing as Islamic terrorists, but only the poor, innocent people, oppressed by Israel.
5. Are you pro-life?
a) Yes, I oppress women.
b) I believe in a woman’s right to abortion, and Kermit Gosnell is my hero.
6. Enclose a photo of your house, along with a detailed blueprint of it, including where you store your weapons.
7. Sign the enclosed form, surrendering all your rights under the US Constitution.
8. Sign the enclosed blank confession. We’ll fill in the details later.
9. Enclose nude photographs of yourself, all your family members, and your pastor.
10. After you have complied with all of these requirements, your request for tax exempt status will be expedited, and you should receive our decision within six years, give or take 50.
11. You idiot. Did you REALLY think we would treat you fairly? HA!
Robert Arvay is a Contributing Writer for The Patriot’s Notepad