Dear Canadian Conservatives,
You are cordially invited to come on down and vote in the USA’s 2012 election for the President of the United States.
Normally, I would never consider asking Canadians to cast votes in any U.S. elections, but the Dept of Social Justice, under the leadership of, “voting rights laws are not for white people”, and “you are all cowards”, Attorney General, Eric Holder, has determined that it would be racist for Florida, or, I suppose, any State, to remove illegal immigrants from their voting rolls.
I’d like to apologize to all Canadians for my racism of previous years, when I thought that they should be excluded from voting in American elections, simply because they were citizens of another country. I realize now that I was hiding my Canadian bigotry behind a facade of the White man’s racist election laws.
Registering is easy. Simply go to any Democratic Party, or ACORN, office, and tell them that you would like to register to vote in America. Have a pre-determined American address picked out to give them. A vacant lot or a neighborhood deli’s address will work just fine. No American I.D. will be asked for. It’s important that you register as a Democrat, because then, with many winks and nods, they will allow you to cast numerous votes over the course of the Election Day. But, once in the booth. You can legally vote for either the Democrat OR the Republican candidate.
Once you are a registered American voter, you can simply walk in to any polling place in that district, give them your name, again, no ID required for verification, and they will hand you a ballot.
Then simply go to the voting machine, follow the prompts, and cast your vote for Mitt Romney. Thank you for your assistance in this matter.
PS, you are now eligible for the numerous welfare benefits available to any “New American” 🙂
Bruce O’H is a guest blogger to The Bold Pursuit.